


What an Ass

by captainflintsjacket



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Embarrassment, F/M, Mistaken Identity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-09-29 18:26:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20440481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainflintsjacket/pseuds/captainflintsjacket
Summary: Based on the prompt: "I thought you were my friend so I slapped your ass by mistake.” Also I feel like you guys should know the working title was “My Anaconda Don’t Want None Unless You’re Vulcan Son”





	What an Ass

Securing a teaching job at Starfleet was a dream come true, and when you found out your little brother got accepted into the academy you were even more excited. You’d arranged to meet him in the courtyards to give him a tour of the campus before his first day. You told him to wear something casual so you could pick him out in the crowd of uniforms at the Academy. He sent you back a picture of himself in a blue Henley and a black beanie. You kept your eyes peeled for the sparks of blue in a sea of red and gray uniforms as cadets, professors, and admirals crossed campus between classes. You squinted against the sunlight, swapping your glasses for a pair of non-prescription shades. You figured you could pick your brother out by his general shape.

Finally, you spotted the blue Henley and you darted through the crowd to sneak up on your brother. He was talking to a cadet, probably making friends already. He always had a magnetic personality. Luckily for you, it meant he couldn’t see you sneaking up on him. As soon as you were behind him you raised your hand and slapped it full force against his ass. Your brother jumped and you nearly doubled over from laughing. At least, until he spoke. The smile died on your lips.

“Is this a human tradition I am unfamiliar with or is there another explanation for assaulting me?”

You straightened yourself up immediately, clearing your throat. You fumbled pulling your glasses out of your pocket, swapping them with your shades and your world came back into focus, including the pointed ears and green-tinged skin of none other than Spock, your former graduate advisor. You flushed beet red and tried to stammer out an apology.

“Is something the matter Commander Y/L/N? You appear to be perspiring uite heavily.”

“No, I’m fine…I-I’m just embarrassed I…God, I thought you were my brother.”

“Is this a tradition among siblings?”

“Not usually,” the cadet who had been talking with Spock interjected. “Usually it’s reserved for intimate couples.”

“No, it’s not.” You glared daggers at the cadet, who thankfully decided it was time to go and slinked away, leaving you to wallow in your embarrassment with Spock. “My brother and I slap each other’s asses in greeting. It’s part of an old inside joke - it’s not weird I promise. I know that makes it sound a little weird, but it’s not weird at all and oh my god why can’t I stop talking?”

Spock raised an eyebrow while he studied you. “Are you sure you wouldn’t like an escort to the medical wing?”

You buried your face in your hands, groaning. “No, I’d like for a Klingon to kill me right now.”

“That would be unfortunate, Commander, as I have admired you for some time.”

You peeked at him through your fingers. His face was unreadable as always. “You’re joking.”

“Vulcans cannot lie, Y/N. I find you fascinating.” Spock took a step towards you, hands still clasped behind his back. “Perhaps, we could share a meal and you could explain this tradition of ‘ass slapping’ you share with your brother.”

“She’d love to,” your brother said, throwing an arm around your shoulders. “Poor girl never shuts up about you. It’s always Commander Spock this Commander Spock that. Oh, Cory he’s just so hot,” he said, imitating you.

You punched him hard in the chest. “Shut up,” you whispered. You don’t know why you bothered, knowing full well Spock would be able to hear you anyway. “You’re dead, asshole.” Your brother only laughed, and when you looked back at Spock you could see a brief smile brightening his features.

“I’ll see you tonight then, Commander.” Spock bowed slightly, holding a hand out to you. You reached your hand out and sucked in a breath when he slowly caressed two of your fingers with his before he left. You watched him walk away, fingers tingling where he’d touched them.

“Why do I feel like I just watched something dirty?”

You glared at your brother, and he kissed you on the side of the head before sprinting across the courtyard. “You’ll never catch me,” he yelled behind him.

“We’ll see about that,” you yelled back.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on tumblr @trade-baby-blues


End file.
